Thursday, April 14, 2011

Rubix Cube Heart

As of yesterday I have become completely obsessed with one thing.
Solving a Rubix Cube. 
Oh my goodness, these things are so stinkin' addictive!!
My hands feel naked now if I don't have a cube in them. 

Last night was a really hard night. 
I felt overwhelmed and discouraged and anxious. 
I've been wrestling with and truly rocked by some deep habits of my heart and life. 
There are so many things that I am seeing that require much change. 
Last night was just a time of feeling through so much that was deep down as a result of frustrations with this big fat process. 

I knew as I was attempting to fall asleep that I was going to have a dream about a Rubix Cube.
I just knew it. 

The falling asleep thing was really tough because my mind and heart seemed to be racing each other to see which could drive me crazier... 

So as a po danking result I had a Rubix Cube Heart dream.
I quite literally dreamt that each thing I am struggling with and pushing
 into, each emotion that I was feeling existed as a different color on the cube. 

The cube was SO MESHED up. 
Reds were awfully mixed in with blues and
yellows and oranges get the picture.

My dream self tried fumbling with it, putting it all back together. 
But I couldn't do it.

((apparently my dream self can't solve the cube yet either))

In my dream, I remember just letting go. 
I knew it wasn't something I could figure out or put back the way it was supposed to.

The dream didn't resolve itself but I'm pretty sure there's only one mastermind of this cube.
I think only the creator of my rubix cube heart can make it right. 
I love my Jesus and my Father in heaven who has some RAD rubix cubing skills.

I'm humbly praying that he will be able to make something beautiful out of it.

((no longer puzzled is this crazy heart))

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