Hamsters, String Cheese & Lovin'

Today was a day of yellow-o-sity.

{love it}

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had TWO cupcakes tonight to celebrate Biola's birthday. 

I accidentally did not eat anything else for dinner. 

oopies. 

The drama of such a choice has ensued in pure ants~i~ness throughout myself.

It feels like there is a little hamster-guy running on a wheel inside myself. 

He is a very quick little buddy, I must say.

Maybe he ate cupcakes for dinner too. 

Here's the tragedy:

I thought I should put something else inside my stummy to 

absorb some of the sugar.

I took a break from bouncing on my chair homeworking to pop some corn.

The first bite revealed its true nature as kettle corn.

EYUCK.

I hate it when that happens. 

I guess my "dinner" will now consist of

string cheese,

chocolate, and

string cheese. 

Eh it all evens out in there somehow. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P.s. today was a good day for loving.

I am so thankful that God has placed people and people groups in my life to be loved.

We're all lookin' for a little lovin'. 

Stoked to be on both ends of that deal. 

{bouncing with love & hamsters is this Maddaaaaye}

Echolocative Joy

Dolphins make little clicky sounds 

so that they can gain their bearings

and understand their surroundings. 

Their happy clicks bounce off of objects 

and then come back and hit their foreheads. 

This process is called echolocation.

{Isn't that silly? How much God must have been smiling as he created those little guys!!!}

I like that they require the presence of other things to survive. 

Otherwise they would loudly stumble

their little ways through the ocean.

I feel like there has been an abundance of joy within my spirit as of latel. 

I'm learning that I experience joy in the

 greatest capacity

 as I get to share it with others. 

Joy stuck inside of me tends to get a snatch explosive. 

Therefore, I thrive off of

 these moments 

when I get to share my joy. 

I feel like a dolphin. 

Letting out my joy.

((usually in the form of many many words and the occasional squeallygiddy dance

I imagine that dolphins would be the best choreographers of dance if they were land animals))

I delight in watching my joy bounce off of the people around me. 

Seeing the beauty of joy rooted in Christ that encourages others, 

rather than joy that is centered around me. 

That is hard business. 

I admit, sometimes

 I like just reveling in my own joy, 

but that is stanky and selfish. 

I desire to intentionally share my joy to encourage the spirits of others.

Because when it encourages others it always has

a

way

of

coming

back. 

It bounces off of the people around me and hits me in the forehead. 

Or the heart to be more exact. 

((joyful dolphin-hearted is this Maddy girl))

Rubix Cube Heart

As of yesterday I have become completely obsessed with one thing.

Solving a Rubix Cube. 

Oh my goodness, these things are so stinkin' addictive!!

My hands feel naked now if I don't have a cube in them. 

Last night was a really hard night. 

I felt overwhelmed and discouraged and anxious. 

I've been wrestling with and truly rocked by some deep habits of my heart and life. 

There are so many things that I am seeing that require much change. 

BLEH!!!

Last night was just a time of feeling through so much that was deep down as a result of frustrations with this big fat process. 

I knew as I was attempting to fall asleep that I was going to have a dream about a Rubix Cube.

I just knew it. 

The falling asleep thing was really tough because my mind and heart seemed to be racing each other to see which could drive me crazier... 

So as a po danking result I had a Rubix Cube Heart dream.

I quite literally dreamt that each thing I am struggling with and pushing

 into, each emotion that I was feeling existed as a different color on the cube. 

The cube was SO MESHED up. 

Reds were awfully mixed in with blues and
yellows and oranges and...you get the picture.

My dream self tried fumbling with it, putting it all back together. 

But I couldn't do it.

((apparently my dream self can't solve the cube yet either))

In my dream, I remember just letting go. 

I knew it wasn't something I could figure out or put back the way it was supposed to.

The dream didn't resolve itself but I'm pretty sure there's only one mastermind of this cube.

I think only the creator of my rubix cube heart can make it right. 

I love my Jesus and my Father in heaven who has some RAD rubix cubing skills.

I'm humbly praying that he will be able to make something beautiful out of it.

((no longer puzzled is this crazy heart))

Grace & Wite-Out

I had a friend in fifth grade named Kim. 

She always always ALWAYS used wite-out 

((hello perfectionistic 11 year old!!!))

It looked like this

I stuck to pencils around that time of my life due to my passionate 

love for a perfectly sharpened writing utensil.

But I harbored hidden jealousies for Kim's wite-out...

Flash forward to my college shopping adventures last August...at the top of my list was 

WITE-OUT!!

And let me tell you I have been using and OVERUSING stuff. I got one just like Kim's, the rolly kind and I have made a few mistakes on purpose just so I could white them out and and rewrite the same thing...such is the life of a wite-out fanatic. 

I feel like wite-out is most often reflective of the human kind of grace...

I am willing to "white out" the faults or sins of my fellow people when they sin against me...

but I do not forget this hurt. 

((HELLO white out is SO obvious when used, it practically SCREAMS that it is hiding a fault)).

That's so GROSS!!

I am so DEEPLY grateful that God's grace is SO MUCH GREATER!!

Christ is in no way like wite-out...

He rips up the paper that has been tarnished by mistake, by sins of the flesh and mind

and gives me a fresh one. 

Here's to starting over and forgiving like CRAZY!!

((a fresh start for this sinful girl is indeed welcomed!!!!))