Sunday, January 30, 2011



[kiz-mit, -met, kis-] 
fate; destiny.

One time I thought I made this word up, because I've never met anyone else who knew it. Then I searched it in an online dictionary. 

And it exists.

Also, it's presence is confirmed by the lack of a squig under it placed by the spell checker. (("Sguig"does however receive this angry snatchipede of a line. So does "snatchipede".))

 Kismet is one of my favorite words. I rarely spell it in little letters, alway big bold and 

Kisemtic ((squig)) moments are the most beautiful...finding out there is a random commonality between friends, saying the same word as someone else at the same time, having the same reaction as another person.
There is an essence of sameness, a recognition of the link between human beings. 
It's like the word version of Facebook.
((KISMET!!! You were totally thinking the same thing!!!))


Wednesday, January 26, 2011

That Leaf Girl: Part One

This year I started a leaf collection. Mostly I just took pictures of my leaves because they die quickly and I have not yet mastered their preservation. 

I love leaves. 
So passionately much.

I delight in the way the Lord has planned their colorings ((hello who else matches brown with red and FULLY rocks it??!!))

I am fascinated by their various shapings

I find peace in laying out on a deeply green lawn and looking up at the trees...watching the leaves fall. A pastime only for those with the utmost patience...or just those sickly obsessed, like myself. 

It is an obsession.

Sometimes I wander around campus or my neighborhood looking up at the trees. I am that leaf girl. 

I have many friends who found leaves and given them to me. Others have mailed me leaves from their homes in other states...even a dear friend who collected leaves for many months inside a notebook and then sent it to me...!!!! Talk about blessed!! 

Others have shared with me about how they have had their eyes opened to the beautiful leaves around them because of me. That makes me SO DEEPLY JOYFUL. Some have even started their OWN collections, HALLA!!!!

Please, enjoy the trees in your day, leaf and be merry. 

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I wish I could say I wrote this myself, but sometimes the words of other people provide so much insight into the cockles of my heart. 

Monster Wave
by Michael Johns

i stand.

my bare feet firmly planted
in shifting sand
as waves slap harmlessly 
against my chest.


i look up and,
high above my head,
a monster wave
curls its white-capped claws.


i lean forward,
bracing myself
for the full force hit
of the killer wave.


i am smacked down hard
and pulled farther from shore
in a dizzying tornado
of swirling water.


i force my eyes open,
feeling the hot sting
of salt and sand,
and see nothing.


up, down, sideways i spin,
certain i must soon gasp for air 
and suck in an ocean.


in mid-spin,
through swirling
specs of blinding sand,
i catch a glimpse
of light.


i shove my arms downward
and shoot up through the surface
into the brightness of day.


Romans 7:24-25a "Wretched [wo]man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" 

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Wanted: Emotional Popsicle

The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.

Sometimes I struggle with this, just like everyone else, but I usually just make up a word to replace it. I'm an English major, it's one of my vices. But more often I find myself with a problem of greater difficulty. 

I wish I could have an emotional translator
because I have no idea how to make what I feel turn into words so other people can understand.

There will be times, like tonight, when I feel so much joy inside of myself and I want to share it. I want other people to experience the seemingly limitless expanse of my delight. 

I want to invent an emotional popsicle. Not a popsicle that feels things. But a popsicle that, when eaten, releases a clear understanding of the gladness that is stuck inside of me. They would be grape flavored but colored bright yellow.

I would hand out these popsicles wherever I went, so that everyone could feel the expanse of my joy. Lately I'm learning that my Creator has placed a kind of joy inside of me that He wants me to share. Sadly, he didn't create emotional popsicles so that I could easily share it. 

That must mean that there are other ways in which he wants me to express this joy to my fellow humans. They must not have to involve words, since clearly I am inept. 


((If anyone decides to invent the emotional popsicle, please let me know asap))

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Ginormous Name for Such a Tiny Man

The German dwarf who is known for nothing more than his name.

The story of Rumpilstiltskin ends with this unhappy little man 
tearing himself into two         
allegedly because the Queen discovered his name 
and he could no longer have her child.

But I think the Brohah's Grimm got it all wrong.
Stiltskinny simply couldn't handle the fact that his name was known.
He assumed he would be criticized and laughed at.

        He was probably right.

Just like most children, growing up I had young peers who made fun of me.
They named me.
stupid, awkward, weird
Some of these names have followed me into my teenage years.
These are words I would never again want to hear myself defined by.
Things I am not proud to say I was ever called.

But I will not tear myself in two.

Because I am the LORD's and He has named me.
"This one shall say, 'I am the LORD's,' another will call on the name of Jacob, and another will write on his hand, 'The LORD's' and name himself by the name of Israel." Isaiah 44:5